In my online exploration, I stumbled upon a blog group called Bakersfield Mommies! (yes, with the exclamation point included, ugh) with the following post by SarahRae85:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a8055075/you_know_youre_from_bakersfield_when.
Wow! My identity crisis is solved! Thanks, SarahRae85!
Well, not really. The list, in actuality, merely reaffirms the hierarchy of white, heterosexual privilege associated with high status in Bakersfield. According to the list, true Bakersfield citizenship can be ascertained when one can claim familiarity with, among other things, the following (list unedited – my comments are in italics):
- You know what “white, ming, rosedale, calloway, and panama” mean
These are (or have been in recent years) the streets in the “wealthy/white” areas of town. The author is signifying here that she’s identifying with a particular audience (read: privileged).
- When you go out of town & you see a sign saying “Union Ave” you expect to see a hooker.
While Union Avenue does have some areas known for prostitution, it also connects major areas of business/industry. Of course, it’s nowhere near the streets named above. Furthermore, the women she identifies as “hookers” are part of the subsection of the population deemed “undesirable” and thus are preferably invisible to her audience. The local news invariably reports Union Avenue as the singular site for Bakersfield’s prostitution “problem,” although such oversimplification serves only to satisfy the public that the fuzz is cracking down on “sex crimes.”
- Rosedale is a world all its own.
Rosedale is a white/wealthy suburb that boasts the “good schools” (where Urban Dictionary claims all the hot/snobby girls attend). For many people in Bakersfield, this is their entire world.
The driveway has its own driveway!
- Rosedale ALSO needs to be turned into a sitcom. Laguna beach doesnt have anything!
I have no words.
Only in Rosedale do you get the fancy Target
- You remember the TWO times in the last 25 years that it snowed in bakersfield, and you remember everything you did that snow day.
This provides context that the author is, indeed, an insider – a true Bakersfield citizen. I, alas, can only remember hail.
- You claim to hate LA but go there at least every other month.
This is another claim to privilege, as Los Angeles is frequently cited as the place to visit for “real” stores like Nordstrom and J Crew.
- You have ever debated the merits of water skiing at Lake Ming versus Buena Vista.
Someone in the comment section wrote, “Ewwwwwwww, skiing at BV lake!!” I believe this is code for: Buena Vista Lake is for poor people.
- You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a tri-tip comes from.
This is actually true. I had no idea what this meat product was until I moved to Bakersfield. Now I encounter it everywhere.
Tri Tip: The Ubiquitous Bakersfield Meat
- You think beans and salsa go with everything.
This is an obscure reference to Basque culture. There are some people with Basque ancestry in Bakersfield and thus we pay homage to the tradition via large family-style servings of beef tongue, beans, tri-tip, potato salad, and salsa.
- Anywhere that takes longer than a 10 minute drive is way too far.
Except if you live in the parts of town that aren’t accessible by the lovely new freeway, and then everything takes 45 minutes. I live in the Northeast, and it takes me at least 30 minutes to get to work. Not that I mind – I moved here from Southern California, where that’s a walk in the park.
- You have to “explain” to someone about Beach Park.
I had to ask my husband about this one (he’s lived here longer than I have). Apparently, this is a coded reference to the supposed gay activity that frequently occurred there – horrors! That the author feels the need to put “explain” in scare quotes shows her heterosexism (not unusual in Bakersfield – I saw a “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” bumper-sticker at Cal State University, Bakersfield).
- You complain about how boring Bakersfield is, but still make fun of people from Delano, Taft and Tehachapi.
Delano is a community comprised mostly of agricultural workers – that SarahRae85 confidently boasts about “mak[ing] fun” of them demonstrates her sense of entitlement and superiority. Ironically, Delano’s schools outperform Bakersfield’s every year.
- You know what an 08er is, where the Dale is at, and what a Dalion is.
This is a reference to the “white trash” section of Bakersfield – stereotyped as a place consumed by meth, white supremacy, and vicious pit bulls. Interestingly, more people seem to be willing to publicly claim residence in “oh-eight” than in zip codes populated by people of color (93307, 93305). Whiteness is still privileged – even in mockery – in this town, where South High’s students are still officially “The Rebels” (although their school symbol is no longer the Confederate flag).
I’m not sure I even want to know….
The 11-Year Tourist 